I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
