I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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