I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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