Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
