i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
