Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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