At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
