You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
