I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
