She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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