There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
