god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
