my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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