how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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