just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
