hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize