I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
