She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
