I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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