The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
