their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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