peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
