Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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