Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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