His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize