I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We left an ass print on the piano.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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