the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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