Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
