You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
