in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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