Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
