I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
