pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
