Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize