I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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