i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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