i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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