note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
