I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
