1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
