like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
