I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
