Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
