what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
