My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
