I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
