Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
