sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
