FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
