No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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