I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Ketchup is God's man juice
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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