Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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