it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
