so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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