Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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