The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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