Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
