I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
