I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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