I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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