i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
