she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
