two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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