So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
